Friday, October 28, 2016

Was Charles Darwin a clown? Probably not.

Throughout the early summer up until the present, we've been hearing and reading stories about Darwin Award contestants dressing up as scary clowns and running through parks and subways and deserted highways scaring the bee gees out of people.

I'm guessing this nonsense started in Europe where government officials and progressives are as frightened of guns as feminists are of male erections.

If such nonsense were to happen in Texas, we'd have a clown shooting gallery on our hands. If it were to happen in south central Georgia, we'd have a new source of meat for pig-pulls and BBQs. If it were to happen in south Florida, the yankee retirees would file a lawsuit for the clowns violating HOA ordinances.

But alas, it seems this started somewhere in England and when the morons, aka clowns, began posting on YouTube, the fad caught on over here and it started happening in various large city locales.

I was puzzled when I saw some videos of scary clowns chasing people in Central Park in New York City. Quite frankly, I kept expecting to see an army of homeless people chasing the clowns and panhandling them to death. I did watch a surveillance video of some guy who whipped out a pistol like Doc Holliday and the clown skidded to a stop faster than a sports car in a Michelin tire commercial.

Lately, though, I've been seeing and reading stories where folks' funny bones haven't been too tickled with these idiot clowns and they're fighting back. In Stockton, California a clown got pistol-whipped. He was lucky. Very lucky. In Stockton, most folks would just as soon shoot you if you're in the wrong hood, let along dressed up in makeup and green hair and trying to scare people.

Here's a funny video about some clowns who tangled with some local hood rats and a tussle ensued. What's funny is that the clowns started disrobing, ostensibly to be able to move about more freely, and one of the clowns was wearing thong underwear. Bright lime green thong underwear. I had no idea that guys wore thongs.

I'm guessing Mr. Darwin was never a clown. Where I live, anyone who approaches a car or pickup truck the way these, er, clowns, did would get drawn down on and probably shot dead with exactly zero warning or admonishment to back up and go away.  And in Texas, exactly zero would happen to the shooter.

Helluva way to win a Darwin Award.

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